Miswanting, is a term coined by Gilbert and Wilson[1], to refer to the tendency that we have as human beings of misjudging what will make us happy in the future. Gilbert and Wilson’s research suggests that as human beings we often struggle to predict how we will feel about a future event or outcome, leading to decisions that do not maximize our happiness and well-being
These could be decisions about our purchases, careers, relationships, and life choices. We make these choices based on our expectation or prediction of what we think will make us happy. However, misprediction the happiness we hope to receive from such event or outcome, leads us to feel dissatisfied or even regret the choices we made, when the reality falls short of our expectations.
Even though we struggle to accurately assess what will make us happy in the future, leading to suboptimal choices and life decisions, there are some strategies that can enhance your overall happiness despite these complexities. These include:
- Self-awareness: Recognize the existence of miswanting and acknowledge that your predictions about future happiness may not always be accurate. Self-awareness is the first step towards making more informed decisions.
- Focus on intrinsic motivations: Pursue activities and goals that align with your intrinsic values and interests rather than external pressures or societal expectations. Intrinsic motivations tend to lead to greater and more lasting satisfaction. You can read more on motivation here.
- Practice gratitude: Regularly reflect on the positive aspects of your life and express gratitude for them. Gratitude can enhance overall well-being and counteract the tendency to focus on what you lack. You can read more on gratitude here.
- Embrace Resilience: Develop resilience to handle challenging situations and bounce back from adversity. Understanding that negative emotions often dissipate faster than expected can help you cope with difficult times more effectively. You can read more on resilience here.
To conclude, by becoming more aware of the cognitive biases that lead to miswanting and incorporating these strategies into your life, you can enhance your well-being and make more informed decisions that align with your true long-term goals and values.
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[1] https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2000-07085-007
Very interesting observation. In marketing we call it post-purchase dissonance. This is the discrepancy between the expected outcome of the purchase and the actual outcome. We marketers try to manage it by reaching out to customers and assuring them that they made the right decisions.